I’ve missed you a lot the past few days. I know part of it is because it’s that time of the month and I’m extra hormonal but I still miss you nonetheless. It’s been hard not to text you or call you but I’ve stopped myself. I haven’t given into you.
Even though I miss you, I’m still making progress. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I’m not as heart broken when all I find is cold, empty sheets instead of your warm body next to me. Each day is easier to be myself and genuinely smile and answer honestly when people ask how I am. I am not crippled by my pain, it is no longer controlling me. Most days it’s barely even a sting, I hardly even notice it now.
I’m having fun again, enjoying being single but there is part of me that will always want a relationship. I miss coming home to someone, looking forward to hearing about their day and telling them about mine but I know I’m not ready for that. Not right now. Even if you came back and said you wanted to fix this, it would be difficult. I can’t even think of opening myself up enough to fully let someone in anytime soon. I’m standing on my own two feet now, loving myself and making myself happy.